College Halloween Costume Ideas and Party Tips for the White Girl Wasted Crowd

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Leave me a comment! What are you being for halloween? What activities will you be doing? If you’re too young to drink don’t worry you can take these principals and apply them to getting chocolate wasted. What is your favorite candy? Tell me all the things.
I place a lot of importance on originality and creativity when it comes to a halloween costume. You only get to do this once a year and if you screw it up I’ll never be able to forgive you. Plus if you’re like me halloween is your valentines day and you want to snatch up a Mr. Right Now to take pictures with and brag to your friends about. SO PUT SOME THOUGHT INTO THIS SHIT.

My personal past halloween costumes:
Amanda Bynes (bad idea in LA, people had personal stories about her and stole my spotlight, hate that shit)
Wilfred the dog
Sweet Dee from Always Sunny (the musical episode)
Boxxy (yeah that’s what that picture was inspired by–lazy year on my part, nobody got it)
Duff Man (girl version)

and before that (high school) is a blur, I have no recollection of my high school halloween costumes, if they even existed. As far as I know my halloweens consisted of handing out candy in the garage while my dad’s hippie music played on his record machine. He insisted on doing this to educate the passing youth on bands their millennial parents may have neglected during childrearing.

Can’t I just dress up my dog as a cat and call it a night?

Did I tell you I’m qualified to talk about this because I went to a school famous for its halloween parties? That’s right, Ohio University at halloween is a mad house and super awesome fun times with a giant block party, dave rave and streets flooded with drunkies. And I made it through FOUR of these halloweens without any serious mishaps. I got lost at 50% of these halloweens. But I always made new friends on the journey to find home.

If you’re still reading this I want you to know that I admire you and everything you do. I want to thank you for letting me into your life with this silliness. I hope I made you snort a little extra air out of your nostrils once or twice.

PS BE SAFE ON HALLOWEEN alcohol messes you up and makes you do stupid things. So set boundaries for yourself before you get drunk and then it’ll be easier to remember not to pee in front of that police officer when you can think “wait, Maggie, I remember specifically telling myself earlier today that I WOULDN’T yell fuck the po-lice as loud as I could while strategically squatting on a front lawn.” Make good choices, you little adorable drunk snowflakes.